Belonging is a basic human need. We want affiliation and hence we want long lasting relationships. We are constantly in search of our ‘soulmate’.
While today’s generation loves to experiment with various aspects of life. The youth today are not content to follow any dictated path. They would rather like to experiment and learn for themselves.
And therefore what we see are a lot more cases of breakups in relationships as people constantly experiment and try to find that one relationship with whom they could feel committed.
Two people in a relationship go through millions of emotions and according to research these emotions create brain chemicals that change the way they feel. Therefore relationships can take a huge emotional toll on both partners. It is not easy to break away without any emotional baggage.
Passion, commitment and companionship are the basis of any long lasting relationship but according to recent statistics the longevity of relationships have come down from few years to months, weeks and days. Relationships these days are ephemeral and profit-driven in nature. Divorce rates have increased significantly. The demographics of relationships are changing. Psychologists have claimed that more number of cases of youngsters is coming to them regarding relationship issues. A recent study suggested that the read receipts option available on WhatsApp is toxic for relationships as one gets impatient and anxious whether the message has been read or not by their partner.
‘Dear Zindagi’ had this catchy line which said that like it is okay to test out different couches before finding that perfect couch, the same way trying out different relationships is okay too. Today social media has reached its peak. People try out various relationships via dating apps. The only problem is that one has to be ready to pay the emotional price. Our attachment styles acts as a working model for relationships. People with dismissive avoidant attachment style have a tendency to emotionally distance themselves from their partner and therefore end up leaving their partner before the partner leaves them and seek for another relationship. This is very unhealthy for an individual. On the other hand people who do not have strong mental make-up or emotional support will find it difficult to handle breakups and hence need to be more careful while experimenting.
People are so blinded by the idea of Utopian relationship .There is no such thing as an ideal relationship. You won’t get a customized relationship which is perfect in all aspects. One can strive to achieve a balance in a relationship by actively working on it. The key to this is communication, that too in person.
In the end I’m no one to say whether testing out relationships is good or bad, all I can say is one needs to be prepared to pay the emotional price while one goes up through the relationship-testing mechanism.
This blog is written by Mira (name changed) on behalf of Reboot Wellness. Mira observes and engages with people visiting Reboot Wellness.